The Leadership Power of Validation
- Karri Owens
- 11 minutes ago
- 3 min read
The Leadership Power of Validation
In leadership, we talk about strategy, vision, and results, but one of the most valuable qualities a leader can develop is validation.
Validation isn’t about agreeing with someone. It’s about acknowledging their thoughts and feelings as real and understandable. It’s the difference between saying, “You’re wrong,” and saying, “I can see why you feel that way.”
When we validate others, we don’t surrender our perspective, we build a bridge. That bridge is where trust, respect, and authentic communication begin.
What Is Validation?
Validation means recognizing another person’s emotional or cognitive experience without judgment. It’s the act of saying, “Your perspective makes sense given your experience.”
Author and relationship coach Mike Sorensen calls validation “the most powerful relationship skill you were never taught.” In his book I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships, Sorensen explains that validation is the foundation of empathy. He writes, “Validation is the language of empathy—, t tells others they are seen, heard, and understood.”
When we apply that same principle to leadership, we transform the way our teams function. People who feel heard are more motivated, more loyal, and more willing to contribute ideas.
Why Validation in Leadership Matters
Recent data highlights how often people feel unseen:
Only 39% of employees say someone at work cares about them as a person (Gallup, 2024).
Employees who feel valued are 4.6 times more likely to be engaged at work (Forbes, 2023).
Teams that report high psychological safety, a direct outcome of validation, show 27% higher performance and 50% higher retention (Harvard Business Review, 2022).
Validation drives those numbers because it builds psychological safety. When employees feel heard and understood, they take smart risks, share ideas, and support one another.
Common Misunderstandings About Validation
Many leaders, and people in general, don’t understand what validation truly means. It’s not about agreeing, fixing, or solving. In fact, validation often comes before problem-solving.
Validation is not:
Agreement: You can validate someone without endorsing their opinion.
Empty praise: Validation is sincere acknowledgment, not flattery.
Passive listening: It’s active empathy, reflecting what you hear and showing understanding.
The Science Behind Connection
Emotional validation isn’t just nice, it’s neurologically powerful. Research shows that:
Validation lowers emotional arousal and helps regulate the nervous system.
Couples who respond with empathy and validation (“turning toward” bids for connection) stay together 87% of the time, compared to 33% who don’t (Gottman Institute).
Teams that feel emotionally safe outperform others by up to 30%, according to Google’s Project Aristotle.
In other words, validation strengthens the human foundation beneath every professional or personal relationship.
How to Practice Validation as a Leader
You can begin using validation immediately by applying these steps:
Listen without interrupting. Let the person finish before responding.
Acknowledge the feeling or perspective. “I can see why you’d feel that way.”
Normalize the emotion. “Anyone in that situation might feel frustrated.”
Avoid judgment or premature solutions. The goal isn’t to fix, it’s to connect.
Reflect what you heard. “It sounds like you felt overlooked when that happened.”
You’ll notice a difference almost immediately, people relax, open up, and communicate more effectively when they feel validated.
Validation in Leadership, Work, and Life
Validation creates stronger leadership because it shows humanity behind authority. In workplaces, it encourages collaboration and psychological safety. In personal relationships, it fosters trust and intimacy.
Whether you’re managing a team, mentoring a peer, or supporting a friend, the same principle applies:You don’t have to agree to validate, you just have to listen to understand.
Recommended Resource
If you want to explore this skill more deeply, I highly recommend Mike Sorensen’s work at michaelssorensen.com. His book, I Hear You, breaks down practical examples and scripts for how to validate effectively in leadership, relationships, and everyday life.
Sorensen reminds us that validation is not compliance, it’s connection. And connection is the foundation of trust, influence, and respect.
Final Thought
As leaders, one of the greatest gifts we can offer others is to make them feel heard and understood.
Validation doesn’t cost a thing, but it can change everything.
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